Nature and Me , Really?
I know that today should be Fat Hat Tuesday , but today I thought I would blog about my fun adventure I had over Fathers Day weekend. I knew that I was going to get to go this time."CAMPING!".
As most of you know I love camping and the great out doors. This would be my first time up to Clearwater MT. My hubby goes up there to compete in a Bow Shoot. He shoots a traditional bow. Like they had in the old days. Anyway I was so excited to be getting out of the house . Spending time in the woods, the smell of the fresh pine trees, the coolness of the fresh mountain air.The smell of warm pine needles, the sap of the trees, a camp fire at night. You get the picture the , we are talking here the whole out doors. AAAAHHHH!!.
All week I had been getting our camp trailer " The HOLIDAY RAMBLER" ready for our trip , you know cleaning , putting the clothes in , blankets, towels , coffee pot, coffee, you know the routine . I was debating with myself if I should bring my little dog Pork Chop with me or not. He doesn't care for riding in the car. He whines a lot. Kind of makes for a miserable trip and I knew that I would have to walk him all the time , cause he is the peeinest little dog that I have ever known , I just wasn't sure if I also wanted to walk behind him with a poopper scooper and a plastic bag. I don't own cats because I don't want to empty a litter box . My hubby settle the whole question for me when he took Pork Chops feed bowl and water bowl out to the trailer. So I knew he was going. Oh did I mention Porky sleeps with me, which is okay in a king size bed, he sleeps at my feet, But in a single that even I have a hard time finding room for my feet, my bear butt, my belly, legs, etc.... My hubby sleeps on the couch in the trailer because there is only the one bed in the back and as I have all ready said, only barely big enough for me. Porky will not sleep with Marty where there is plenty of room. So I can live with that ,because I get to go camping and be in the all out doors. Yeah!!
Finally Friday comes and away we go. Porky is in the back of the truck, don't worry it has a camper shell thing on it. He is enclosed in. I always worry about dogs falling out of the back of trucks, because up here they do not have to been tried in . It has something to do with ranch dogs. Anyway so I didn't hear him whining for 2 hours. A $100.00 buckaroos in diesel and
two hamburgers later , 3 hamburgers later , one for porky . We arrive at the camp spot. I am so happy to finally be there with Mother Nature. I was called Mother Nature one time by a second grader , we had the Drum there and I was dressed out and a kid asked me if I was Mother Nature. Funny huh? Maybe because I am round.
So hubby starts the setting up of the trailer , leveling it,setting the block down. After about 20 minutes or so I figured I might as well take Porky for a walk, get a little exercise in, breathe in the great out doors, commune with nature again AAAAHHHH! I leash my dog, grab the plastic bag, make sure my tennis are tried and off we go. Said hello to a couple of people on their way to do a little target practice. I get maybe a 80 feet form the trailer and I step on a pine cone , which flips out from under my foot, and I know in a second that I was going down. I didn't have time to do a few running steps to try to save myself or flap my arms like a bird about to take flight...... I didn't take flight, I didn't run my self out of the fall. I fell like a giant pine tree in the woods . I didn't even have time to utter a sound. Down I went with Porky scrambling to get out of my way. BAM , I was down . S**T that hurt. But I was quickly up in a sitting position like I was just taking a little break from that long walk of 80 feet. I looked around no one saw me. No one heard the great crash. So it was also true for chubby people in the woods. If they fall when no one was watching did they make a sound? The answer is "NO". No one came to help me up, or ask if I was okay.
I seen Marty at the back of the truck I called his name and he didn't hear me so a yelled a little louder , but my woodsy voice fell on deaf ears. I have a bad hip and back and when I am down like that I do not have the strength to get up. Oh no I am struck here. I told Porky to go get daddy, which he always does at home. No, the little dog would not leave my side. I knew that if he when back to the trailer without me Marty would come looking for me. So here I was about ten feet from a pine tree with a lower broken branch sticking out at about just the right height for me to pull myself up with, but how would I get there? I would have to crawl. So I got up on my hands and knees and started the , "Oh I am just looking for my lost necklace." crawl, you know every now and then I would stop and sweep the grass in front of me, acting like I was looking for something. Humming " DoooDeee, DoooDeee, Dooo!" the whole way. I learned this crawl in my drinking days, when you didn't want people to know that you were too drunk to stand up. Don't shake your head at me. I know darn well that some of you have done this crawl.
I get to the tree, no one that I knew of saw me. I reached for the branch like a drowning man reaching for a lifesaver. I got it , I pulled myself as close as I could get to the pine tree. I pulled my self up slowly , I brushed my face along of the pine. Not on purpose , but I had to get up. I did it , I WAS UP. Whew , I almost jumped for joy, but I didn't want my feet to leave the ground. So I shuffled my way back to the trailer. Just as I was about there My dear sweet DEAF to my tree in the woods voice stepped around the back of the trailer and looked at me and said, What happened to you? " I said, I had a little fall, but I'm "OKAY".
I got into the trailer and looked down at myself. Oh I communed with nature alright. I had pine needles in my hair and on my shirt, I had Elk poop on my shirt. I had grass on my shirt and in my hair. I had pine pitch on the side of my face and on my hands, my knees were scratched up from my crawling. I hurt all over for a week.
I now know that I love Mother Nature , but She doesn't love me.
Moral of story, Never ever let some one call you Mother Nature, because you can't fool with Her. She always gets back at ya!
So till my next talking,
Peace and happiness.
